Butterflies

You know what I love? I love getting worked up over trifling matters. It’s fun, and somehow it reminds me of how lucky I’ve had it so far. But today I will talk about one specific matter that I have been contemplating this week: to date, or not to date.

Despite all the bad press that “first dates” get, the beginning of a relationship sometimes can be the highest point of that relationship. So I say, enjoy it.

Not only you are making a new acquaintance and gaining experience in the field, but first dates allow you to rediscover yourself through the eyes of someone else. Sometimes you forget that you really like that one song, or that you have been meaning to read that book, or maybe that you don’ t feel really strongly about that particular political candidate.

Now, let’s not forget about all the fun times and effort that goes into preparing for the event. All least on the girl side, this is usually how it goes (although I am sure it applies to many guys too):

1. You must gather as much information as possible about your potential date. You will ask the person that introduced the two of you and you will try to access his facebook profile (yes, you will). Don’t get me wrong this isn’t like a screening test, it is simply human nature (or is it girl nature?) that we are curious about what turns our life is about to make.

2. In order to have a truly successful first date, the two of you must have interacted prior to the grand encounter. By that I mean that hopefully you met at a party, or were introduced by a close friend, or maybe you are taking a class together. This provides a solid foundation of compatibility because you already have the one thing in common. Otherwise, your first date is really more like a blind date, and that is an entirely different playing field.

3. Yes, girls will spend countless hours trying to figure out what to wear to the date and there are many strategies to follow, to each girl her own. The perfect first date outfit must be casual but not too casual. One of the most important things is that it has to be comfortable. You don’t want to spend your date thinking about how much your feet hurt or how long you have been tucking your tummy for. The point is to look pretty, but not hot. You want your partner to be interested, but please, leave some room for imagination. Besides it is probably better to surprise them with your sexy self later on if the relationship flourishes.

4. Where you end up going for the actual date does not matter too much. Just try to keep the conversation flowing with whatever pops into your mind. Try to stay away from risky conversations (like say… religion or government), but if you can’t then do your best not to sound too offensive.

5. Unfortunately I don’t have any post-date advice. I can’t tell you when it is appropriate to call or if it is best to email or IM, and I certainly can’t tell you when it is too soon to get intimate because there is probably no right answer to any of those questions. In any case, if there is certain chemistry between the two of you, you will probably know when it “feels” right. Now you are on your own.

Am I shallow for thinking about all this? I don’t think so. I think it goes unsaid for many people, but I have gotten to discuss it with some of my best friends. Which brings me to one of the most fun parts of going out on first dates (no matter how they went): we get to go through it all over it again when we are telling our friends :-)